half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog

Just because you’re paranoid doesn’t mean they’re not out to get you…

Coachella: the obsession.


I’ll just do the in-the-round neck bit, I said, and then I’ll return my 24″ circs to Fifi. And then, well, I may as well start the back-and-forth bit, I can use different needles for that. And now, okay, let’s start the final in-the-round section, just to see if it fits, then I can slip it onto scrap yarn and finally give those needles back to Fifi.

Ahem. Yeah.

But then I went and tried it on too soon. Only a few rows into the body, so the newly-cast-on underarm stitches were straining. And it was small. Very small. I squeezed into it without a problem, but there was stretching and lots of it.

Me: It looks tiny, but this size is supposed to stretch to fit a 32″ bust.
Brain: Do you have a 32″ bust?
Me: Um, well, no, not as such…
Brain: And what size is your bust, hmm?
Me: I don’t know, maybe about 35″?
Brain: Are you aware that 35 is a larger number than 32?
Me: Shut up, brain, or I’ll stab you with a Q-tip.

I purposely knit it a size too small, because whenever I knit my size, it’s too big. Plus, it’s silk yarn, so it will grow after washing. But will it? It’s not normal yarn, it’s this weirdly constructed tape yarn, so I have no idea how it will behave. I didn’t bother washing my swatch, because my swatches lie like a lying liar anyway.

What I do know, what I have no doubt about, is that if I had knit the S, it would be too big. And now the XS may or may not be too small. Do you even have to ask why I’m convinced that my knitting is out to get me?

So I need to relax, and knit a couple of inches into the body, and then try it on again for a more accurate does-it-fit-or-will-I-stab-myself-in-the-eyes assessment.

I do love the yarn.


It’s a world of difference from the Alchemy Silk Purse I’m using for Maddy. Not that I’m shitting on Silk Purse. I love Silk Purse, it’s gorgeous and soft and a tactile pleasure to knit with, it’s just not the most… practical… of yarns. This one feels sturdy, and strangely-but-pleasantly crunchy, and still has that gorgeous silk sheen. Assuming it washes and wears decently, I would be all over using it again.

So. More paranoia: my Vicious Gnauga Backpack is up for voting in the Craftster knitted monster challenge. (It’s not going to win. Last I checked, it was being soundly clobbered by at least two other monsters. But I may as well vote-whore anyway.)

The last challenge I entered, I posted about 6 pictures of my entry. When the voting rolled around, the picture used for the poll was the tiniest, blurriest, crappiest picture of all of them. The hell, said I, but I didn’t much care, because it was a crappy entry anyway.

This time, I click on the voting thread, and instead of my backpack, I see this:

Buh? So I then decided that the knitting moderator and/or all of Craftster and/or THE ENTIRE WORLD was on a mission to thwart my attempts to enter knitting challenges by selecting the most inappropriate pictures of my entries. I MUST WREAK REVENGE! REVENGE ON THEM ALL! THEY WILL FEEL THE WRATH OF MY ANGER AND MY MONSTER BACKPACK AND MY RAPIDLY AND SUSPICIOUSLY EXPANDING BOOBIES (yes, I’m still on about that). NO ONE WILL BE SPARED! NO ONE!

And then I regained my sanity, and PM’d the moderator to point out the picture error. Turns out it was a total accident, and she very nicely apologized and fixed it right away.

I AM A GOOBER. The end.


  1. heatherfeather says:

    i had a similar obsession with coachella. i wanted to go to bed, but was like, oh the back section only has 11 stitches, i can finish this quick as a button! and it’s fine if i just join it so that i don’t have to do it on the bus in the morning. well, i’ve done one row past the join, it’s only like 9 until i can try it on. hmm… i wonder if i did enough short rows? let me work it down further to see if it evens out. oh, look, here we are at the waist shaping… 18 rows isn’t that far to do the waist increases, is it?


    pattern notes, i’m wishing i had started with 10% fewer stitches to cinch in the neckline a little (hi! i see why everyone’s saying your can look down the neck and see your own ta-tas) and increase them in the 5 rows before the split to front/back.

    however, i’m doing the 37″ for my 43″ and it’s fitting me a-ok… i hope it works out fitting ok!

  2. Lydia says:

    I feel so much better after reading your entry. I tried on my Coachella last night a row or two after joining in the round, and was freaking out because it was NOT looking like it was going to fit, but now that I’ve seen this entry, and the one after where yours fits fine, I feel better. lol.

    Now I just have about five billion more inches to knit because ten row is SO not going to hit my waist (darn my long torso) and I always have to make things longer. *knits furiously b/c I want to wear this on Saturday night*