half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog
April, 2007

"Your half-assed underparenting was a lot more fun than your half-assed overparenting."

I am kinda getting into this blog thing; I’m tempted to start posting about all the future projects floating around in my head. But then I’d be using my whole ass!

Instant Gratification Scarf


I don’t know if I’d even call this a pattern. It’s too simple to be a pattern.

This is a really, really quick scarf (hence the name) that is perfect for big crazy thick-and-thin yarn, when you want to show off the texture and make the most of a small amount of yarn. Drop-stitch patterns really make a little yarn go a long way.


[snip – pattern moved here]


The resulting scarf looks the same one both sides, has a bit more structure to it than a regular drop stitch scarf, and is surprisingly cozy (especially if you use MMMMalabrigo, yum).

Blurry mirror pic with matching Calorimetry!
(Sorry. :P I am a lazy, lazy photographer.)



I am already getting annoyed with Blogger’s limitations. Apparently I can’t use the spiffy new Layouts feature unless I host my blog on blogspot, and there is all this other crap with file extensions and labels that isn’t working right, and blah.

I can’t install WordPress, because my hosting plan doesn’t inclue MySQL (and I can’t be arsed to hunt around for a new host right now). I can install MovableType, and I might, but all the weird licensing stuff spooks me – there is a free personal version, but who knows what weird restrictions are on it. Graaaaah! Graaaaaah, I say!

Whine, whine, bitch, whine. I’m such a control freak.

FO: Eyelet Headwrap

For some reason, I got it into my head that I wanted to participate in a knitting challenge over at Craftster. The challenge was to knit something but spend $10 or less on materials. This appealed to my poor ass, but I didn’t know what the hell to make.

So I was wandering around Zellers, and saw this bag of stick-on googly eyes, and that was it. I had to knit something and stick googly eyes on it. There was no other option.

I was excited… but it was, like, March 23rd, and the challenge deadline was the end of March, and I am the slowest knitter in the universe. Still, it got finished in time, and of course didn’t win anything, and I learned a few lessons from the experience:

Lesson 1: Do not participate in a knitting challenge just for the sake of participating in a knitting challenge.

Lesson 2: Knitting within a very small time limit is NO FUN.

Lesson 3: Googly eyes are awesome. (I already knew this, but it’s always good to reinforce this lesson.)


I was trying to copy the diagonal eyelet pattern I saw here. I don’t think I guessed the pattern exactly right, but I came pretty close.

IMG_3876.JPG IMG_3881.JPG

Yarn: Bernat Cool Crochet in Crisp White, less than 1 ball
Needles: size 5


(I am guessing at this, because I didn’t write it down. Because I suck.)

CO 22 sts.

Work a few rows of garter stitch.

Repeat these two rows until the piece is long enough:
1: k3, *yo, k2tog, k3* 3 times, yo, k2tog, k2
2: k3, p to last 3 sts, k3

Work a few more rows of garter stitch, BO.

I attached the eyes with little metal snaps, since I don’t like sticking things to my knitting. This means they’re removable, if I want the headwrap to be cute instead of vaguely creepy. But why would I want that?

Mmmkay… I am going to slowly start posting my ol…

Mmmkay… I am going to slowly start posting my old FOs and such, so this thing isn’t so gosh-darn-diddily-dang-darn empty.

Not that anybody is reading this post, since I am not dumb enough to link my blog everywhere when there’s nothing actually on it. >.>

I Don’t Wanna Blog And You Can’t Make Me

*points to title, folds arms, sulks*

I figure this is somewhere to dump all my knitting babble in an organized manner, instead of scattering it among LJ communities, message boards, and my increasingly unreliable brain. That’s all. I’m far too lazy to keep up a proper blog.

Also, I wanted an excuse to draw a donkey. Well, half a donkey.