half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog

(Half) Asses and Monsters and Beer, Oh My!


Monsters are a problem. Sometimes they eat your head, and sometimes they refuse to be written up into a pattern. Right now I would happily let this particular monster gnaw on my brains for awhile if it would just tell me how the hell the decreases on the top of its head work.

I am having waaaay more trouble than I should with mentally dissecting that hat. I’d only been knitting a few months when I made it, so I couldn’t have done anything too wacky. I know how to read my knitting – usually – but this durn hat critter thing seems to melt into an amorphous yarn blob whenever I try to pick out the stitches I used. Graaah. Monsters.

I added my first pattern to Ravelry today – the Vicious Gnauga Backpack, naturally – and it’s all very odd. Pattern source, asked the form, and I filled in “Half-Assed Patterns”. And cackled. If I ever get my shit together on this whole designing thing, I will really have to come up with a better name than Half-Assed Patterns. I mean, it doesn’t exactly fill a prospective knitter with confidence.

Oh well, I’ll cross that bridge when I come to it. Which will likely not be for a very long time, if I’m currently being foiled by a little red monster. Not even a complicated design, but a hat with eyes and teeth. How embarrassing.

And if when I conquer the monster hat, next in line to be written up is Maddy. Ask me how I’m going to turn this mess into a pattern…


The correct answer is: BEER.

Don’t tell me that’s not an answer. It’s totally an answer.


  1. Mae says:

    Ehehehe. I hope you figure this pattern out. I know a couple little kiddie heads who would appreciate a monster eating them!!!

  2. Webbo says:

    Beer is an answer! Don’t let anyone tell you otherwise! I rather like the sound of “Half-Assed Designs”, although I’m not sure of it’s mainstream potential… Good luck with your patterns. I stayed up til TWO IN THE MORNING last night because I mangled the plans for a top-down st st raglan, so I dread to think of the mess I’d make if I ever tried to write the damn thing up. Bring on the head chomper!

  3. Floderten says:

    Beer, like yarn, can fix a lot of things. The more of it you have, the better things seem to go. ;)

    I also find that trying to decipher ‘early works’ is like trying to work out one of those genius cubes. You try all sorts of things, most of the time you don’t even know what, and then suddenly (often when you’re not looking), you figure it out. :D
    Good luck!

  4. Kate says:

    I would totally buy patterns from Half-Assed Designs. It appeals to the same part of me that adores Cheap-Ass Games and Parsimonious Patterns.

    Howdy! New commenter!

  5. It’s eating your bra-a-ain! « merp says:

    […] used her head-munching prototype as her avatar on craftster and I coveted. Then she began promising to write up the pattern, and I slavered. Apparently, it was tricky (but time well spent). Then she […]