half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog

Zombies Ate My Blog

So I thought to myself yesterday, “hey, I should take some pictures of my new yarns and WIPs so I can get back into this blogging thing”.

Me: *turn on camera*
Camera: Hay what’s u- *PICTURE DIES*
Me: WTF?
Camera: Look at my pretty flashing horizontal lines on a black screen.
Me: WTF?
Camera: You didn’t want a picture of what you’re actually pointing the camera at, did you?
Me: Yes, yes I did.
Camera: Well, you get horizontal pink lines instead.
Me: WTF?
Camera: Neener.
Me: *turn off camera*

Wait for it…

Me: *turn on camera again*
Camera: Look, your picture is back!
Me: Yay!
Camera: HAHAHA JUST KIDDING. Here, have some horizontal flashing lines instead.
Me: WTF?

So after an initial fit of “OMG WTF I HAVE NO MONEY TO GET CAMERA FIXED OR BUY NEW CAMERA AHHHHH FUCK FUCK FUCK, ALSO, FUCK!” I poked around on the internets and found out that maybe, maaaaaybe, it might be a known image sensor defect that Canon would fix for free regardless of warranty status (which, the thing is six years old hahahahaha warranty yeahright, so, sweet). Called ’em up, found out that yes, it could be that, but I wouldn’t know until they took a look at it. Luckily the service centre is not far away.

Of course, knowing that electronics are fickle, I took another look at it this morning before taking it in.

Me: *turn on camera*
Zombie Camera: Hi, here’s your picture!
Me: *waits for picture to turn into black screen and flashing lines again*
Zombie Camera: Nope, still picture!
Me: WTF?
Zombie Camera: Oh, by the way, here’s some flashing lines over your picture.
Me: WTF?
Zombie Camera: Yeah, I figured you missed them.
Me: WTF?

Okay. Whatever, camera. You may have returned from the dead, but until you give me a picture with no lines over it, you’re still broken. To the service centre you go.

Me: Blah blah flashing lines.
Lady at Service Centre: *turn on camera*
Zombie Camera: I am a perfectly functional camera. See? Picture!
Me: WTF?
Lady: Huh. It looks fine.
Zombie Camera: *on best behaviour*
Me: WTF?
Lady: Yeah, no flashing lines.
Zombie Camera: Flashing lines? What? I know not of what you speak.
Me: I swear it was broken half an hour ago.
Lady: Heh, I believe you.
Zombie Camera: I WAS FRAMED. Heh heh. Framed. I made a funny.
Me: I hope they dissect you.
Zombie Camera: *whimper*

The end result is, in three weeks or so, I’ll either get back a shiny repaired camera in the mail, or a phone call saying “neener it ain’t the image sensor, you have to pay $150 if you want it fixed”, to which I’ll reply “NOT GONNA”, and then I’ll get back a shiny non-repaired zombie camera that makes terrible puns. And will have no camera, until I can afford a new one. And thus will not blog, for a knitting blog without pictures would be some awful mess of incoherence and imaginary conversations with inanimate objects, and nobody wants that.

So. We’ll see. In the meantime, perhaps I’ll actually knit something.


  1. Floderten says:

    It drives me nuts (and also freaks me out a little) when electronics do something and then you run out to tell/show someone, and you get back and it acts all normal. Then when the rather confused people leave, the electronic device acts up again. Creepy, if you ask me.

  2. Dana says:

    Wuss! Your macbook has a perfectly nice built-in iSight.

    Also, your story makes me think of the old Bugs Bunny cartoon with the singing from. Hello my honey! Hello my baby! Hello my rag-time gal!

    Except with more swearing.

  3. Stacey says:

    I am very sorry for your zombie camera, but man, I am having a fit of giggles. Which is bad, because I’m at work and my job is not usually a barrel of laughs so everyone knows something is up.

  4. jennifer says:

    that was hilarious and awesome.

  5. Aunt Kathy says:

    zombue camera, hahahahaha…

    that usually happens to me when I tell hubby the car is making a funny noise,

  6. Eva-Liese says:

    For some knitting blogs, lack of pictures will definitely not be sufficient as an excuse to get back into this not-blogging thing ;-)))

  7. CanarySanctuary says:

    Oh, I had me one of those zombie cameras. Though, I must admit, it may perhaps have become zombie based on the fact that it was dropped from a height, and then perhaps held a grudge against the dropper for committing such a crime-against-technology.

    btw, I’m lol over here. Great post – though unfortunate cliffhanger at the end there. Here’s to hoping the zombie gets de-zombified!

  8. Ella says:

    I have a zombie camera too! We should start a zombie camera club or something. We could storm the service center and demand our zombie camera rights. What do you think?

  9. MonkeyGurl says:

    Zombie Camera = car = computer. I think they conspire against us.

    And also? Lack of pictures (although as Dana says, you don’t *need* Zombie Camera!) is not a good excuse. Your wit will carry us through.

    And then there’s always the amusing drawings…

  10. Tracy J. says:

    Yeah, I don’t know, you seemed to do pretty well without a camera here. Good try, though.

    Sorry about the camera. Sadly, the only way to deal with zombies is to shoot them in head … and a second ago I had a terrible camera/shoots pun, but we’re all probably better off that I can’t make it work.

  11. Yorkie says:

    Hey! Just found your blog…great read! Love your style.

    Y’know, zombies aren’t just for cameras. I’ve had zombie phones, zombie answering machines, zombie remotes… yet they all behave in the presence of their Master, my hubby, the Engineer (“No, Master, not the soldering iron again…we beg you!”). It’s really weird.

    He can also make street lights go off just by thinking about it. But perhaps that’s another subject for a future discussion…

  12. Lisa R says:

    Will it take clear pictures even if the view screen is zombiefied?

  13. Pat says:

    It’s actually a zombie conspiracy… my microwave had the same problem.

  14. Cesia says:

    This post was hilarious. Probably because I like talking inanimate objects with attitude. And probably because that experience felt so familiar …

    – Cesia.

  15. MasrgB says:

    Your camera has been talking to my camera. Today I had everything set up for a beautiful shoot when it decided to flash a message “memory unreadable”.

  16. mzundercover says:

    Man! My image sensor went out this past fall and I sent it in to Canon. I was hoping for a new camera since this is at least the 2nd time I’ve had to send it in due to a bad image sensor! Oh well. The camera works fine so I’ll keep on keepin’ on. Congrats on getting a brand new camera for free :-)