half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog
half-assed knit blog

What, Me Knit?

So, remember when I used to knit?

(… and blog?)

Yeah, that was fun. I should do that again sometime. I suppose I have been knitting a little bit. Witness the beginnings of my boyfriend and my other boyfriend with a slightly different haircut:



So there’s that. But that’s not a lot of knitting. I’d like to say that I haven’t been knitting because I’ve been plotting world domination, through a complex scheme involving a carton of rubber gloves, some duct tape, large quantities of lime jello, and 3,248 kittens. But if I had been doing that, then I certainly wouldn’t be telling you about it. Secrecy is the key to world domination plots. Kittens too, but mostly secrecy.

Nah, there’s been none of that. I just haven’t been in the mood to knit.

I keep hearing rumbles of this whole Ravelympics thing, though, and I’m intrigued. I like the Olympics. I will probably watch them, to see all the hot almost-naked swimmers who are all wet and almost naked and hot and wet fine athletic performances. If I sign up for this KAL type thingy, could I actually get some knitting done while I watch?

Actual, for real knitting?

Because! Buying yarn is not knitting. Stalking Ravelry is not knitting. Sorting my big yarn bin into two small yarn bins is not knitting. Drawing pictures of things I might want to knit is not knitting… but it’s getting closer.


So I’ve gone and signed up for this Ravelympics thing – I think, there seem to be pages and pages of instructions on how to sign up and I went cross-eyed trying to read them all, so I just tagged my projects and hoped for the best. That always works, right? Signed up for Sweater Whateverthealliterativeeventnameis for that… thing I drew. Do I actually have a pattern written up for it, or even pattern notes? Nope. Do I have enough yarn for it? Probably not. Have I swatched? Yup… like, a year ago. Surely that gauge is still accurate. Yeeeeeah.

And in the spirit of impending failure, I also tagged up a second project. A scarf. A little scarf, just 220 yards of yarn. Nooo problem. Heh. Heh heh. Did I mention that the yarn is evil?


Bet it doesn’t look evil. But it is. Once you try to knit it up.


And then try again.


And then try AGAIN.


The last attempt wasn’t horrible, but I don’t think “not horrible” is what I ought to aspire to when knitting, especially when I’m knitting with a skein of hand-dyed silk that cost entirely too much.

The damn yarn doesn’t want to BE anything. It just wants to be some sort of fucking yarn princess all sitting around unknitted, believing that every pattern is below it ‘cuz it’s just so special and pretty and sparkly. It’s a brat, is what it is, and IT IS GOING TO BE A SCARF IF IT KILLS ME, AND IT IS GOING TO BE A BEAUTIFUL SCARF, THAT SHOWS OFF THE YARN PERFECTLY, AND DO YOU HEAR ME YOU BRATTIEST BRAT WHO EVERY BRATTED BRATTY BALL OF BRAT YARN? DO YOU?


Er. I don’t actually know how I’m going to accomplish this. Pffft, details. I scoff at details.

Yay, Ravelympics! I’m gonna knit! And if I don’t knit, I’ll blog about how much I suck for not knitting! It’s win-win. Blah blah insert gold medal analogy here. Wheeee!


  1. CT says:

    Have you thought about making a scarf sized verision of a Clapotis.
    Or a My So Called Scarf? The first one is similar to MSCS but it usually looks pretty good with varigated yarns :)

  2. liz says:

    It’s so good to see you are back to blogging! Although I’d vote for you with your world domination plan….

  3. Lisa says:

    Ravelympics in the summer, Knitting Olympics (courtesy of the Yarn Harlot) in the winter… woo! Good luck with your patternless sweater. I hope the evil yarn doesn’t take over your plan to take over the world… I don’t want to be ruled by evil yarn!

  4. errs says:

    I think the yarn wants to be something more dramatic, and does not want to relgated to something as simple as a scarf.

  5. Samantha says:

    You’ve done it again, I’m dying over here. I might not care if you ever knit again, just keep writing!

  6. Tanya says:

    Welcome back! Love the viney one!

  7. Diana says:

    I say this scarf:


    for that evil pretty silky yarn.

  8. Cass says:

    We totally watch the Olympics for the all the same reasons ;D

  9. mooncalf says:

    The dream swatch looks good in hand-dyed silk:

    My silk was a lot less gorgeous than yours but you can see my FO here:

  10. becca says:

    Glad to see you up and about, the beaded scarf looks GORGEOUS.
    For evil silk, perhaps this stitch pattern?
    looks pretty nice with variagated yarn.

  11. katie says:

    I was going to suggest My So-Called Scarf but I see someone beat me to it. It looks lovely with sparkly variegateds.

    Good luck on the Olympics!

  12. Julie says:

    I agree with the person who suggested the holding hands feeding ducks pattern, and I’ll also suggest the chevron scarf. Maybe the bratty yarn is lonely, and would like to be knitted with another yarn to keep it company?

    Good luck with the ravelympics- I’m doing it too! I’ve chosen the gathered pullover for the sweater sprint. I forsee carpal tunnel in my future….

  13. Aunt Kathy says:

    Well she’s back, lol, I wondered where you had gotten off to.

    Bravo for starting the Ravelolympics, I chickened out. I am planning on being a cheerleader for all your knitletes.

  14. Stacie says:

    My but you’re hard on yourself! I think all the peripheral things we do that aren’t actual knitting are helping in the creative process. For example, I love the sketch and hope you will knit that up this fall or winter. And sorting through the stash is a good way to get inspired too. [Pats back] There, there, now, it’s all OK.

  15. canarysanctuary says:

    LOL – Yarn princess. I’ve got a few of those too.

    It does look lovely. I’m sure you can whip it into shape.

  16. amanda says:

    i had the same problem with some Disco Lights yarn I bought. I tried 15 million stitches and couldn’t settle on anything I liked. I ended up knitting it, but I still dont like it and might frog it….

  17. dolly says:

    Your yarn, so bold and true and strong.

    Like the beating of a human heart.

    I wonder if she talks?

  18. jamie says:

    I have some silk/wool and the twin waves cables from Barbara Walker 2nd treasury are gorgeous with it and realy a lot of fun, not boring, to knit. My yarn is solid red though. I’m sure you will find the right show-offy stitch for your yarn. Those swimmers are something, aren’t they?

  19. Adriana says:

    I was bored at work so I randomly googled “knit blog” and found you! I immediately got sucked in by your hilarious writing style and have now lost the last two hours of my life to reading your blog. I was thrilled to discover that you live in Toronto (or at least near enough to know all the good yarn stores) because I will be moving to Toronto next month.
    And that ends my ramble.

    Good luck with the Ravelympics. I’ve officially given up without even trying :)