Painful Monster Dental Surgery

Two things.

One: how in the hell do I reply to comments when Blogger apparently turned off everyone’s damn email display when it switched to “new” Blogger, and hardly anybody has turned it back on? Oh Blogger, how I loathe you.

I really need to switch webhosts so that I can install WordPress or something, but… effort.

Two:

Just have to sew in the little pocket (for keys and stuff), and finish and sew on the straps. Those straps are the most mind-numbingly boring things I have ever knitted. The pocket is the second most mind-numbingly boring thing. This is a Monster-Bag-Of-Masochism that I’m making here.

But never mind that. Let me tell you about the fun I had sewing on the face. I mean, the “fun”.

I started by grabbing a tooth, centering it perfectly, and merrily starting to sew. I was almost finished when I noticed… that I was sewing on a top tooth, and it’s the bottom teeth that should be centered. Um. Shit. Okay, rip that out, let’s start again. Off-center teeth for the top. Sew on one, sew on another.

Admired my work… and the teeth were crooked. Oh, goody. So I thought that I could rip out the left-side tooth and shift it slightly, and all would be well. I started ripping… and then noticed I was ripping out the right-side tooth.

… I am too stupid to live.

At this point I decided they were both crooked and ripped the damn things out. You know how sometimes you’re frustrated trying to get something to work, and you try and try and FAIL and eventually you just give up and throw it at a potted plant or something? Well, this was the knitted-monster-tooth equivalent of that.

Started over. This time I pinned all the teeth into place to make sure I actually put them where they were supposed to go.

The pins distorted the teeth and generally annoyed me so I ripped them out too.

Obviously I eventually got them sewed on, and they’re still crooked, but I don’t care. I moved on to the eyes, and it was more of the same.

Attached one eye, attached the other, held up the bag, noticed they were crooked. Okay, fine, at least this would be easier to fix than the teeth. Moved an eye down. Still too high. Moved it down again. Still a bit too high. Starting to wish I was high. Moved it down some more. Now too low. Are you kidding me, eye?

You can probably tell from the picture that they’re still wonky. I have decided not to care about this either. Apathy is the solution to all project mishaps.

I am really liking how the bag is turning out, wonky face aside, but let me tell you… if I ever make another one of these, I am making sure I’m drunk during the entire process. I think it will help.

And by the way, I will probably write up a pattern for this and post it. Because I know everyone will be lining up to make one after reading about how much “fun” I’m having with it.

15 Jun 2007  ·   Tags: My Knitting Hates Me, Vicious Gnauga Backpack